Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Back home in Seattle.

I am NOT bored with my life. This is a big deal because it's not always been this way. There was a dark period. There was a time when my weekly routine almost killed me. Sunday's were always depressing because I dreaded Monday. Monday represented the start of the weekly routine and the routine was the same every week. I lived in Dallas, Texas. I had a 9 to 5 job at a corporate desk Monday through Friday. I went to work in a suit and came home to a supposedly perfect domestic life. I mowed the yard. I walked the dog. I had nothing to complain about. Life had been very fair with me. I didn't have much of a social life, but I owned a house and I was on the fast track to a successful career. This went on for ten years or more. I hated it.

Life is different now. I just came home from a month long tour with Brent Amaker and the Rodeo. We hit sixteen different states including multiple cities within each of those states. Bed time came around 4 AM. We were back on the road most days by 10 AM. Every morning we woke up in a new location. Every evening we landed in a new nightclub and played our music. The routine was constant. The scenery was constantly changing. Anyone who has ever toured in a band can tell you what this is about. Anyone else would have a hard time relating.

I live in one of the most amazing cities in the world. I say this with some perspective. My band has toured Europe twice and toured the US multiple times. I've also done some traveling on my own. There are very few cities in the world as beautiful as Seattle and I have found none that suit me so well. Seattle is where I come home at the end of the tour. I love it here.
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I still have domestic aspects to my life, but I appreciate these things as they keep me sane. My wife is awesome. My dog loves me. I live in a great neighborhood. The only thing I need to do now, is keep it all together. This part can be a challenge. I feel like I'm walking a tight rope and I could fall into oblivion at any time. My reality is not just tied to one place. My reality exists in multiple places and in multiple time frames. Reality exists in chunks of time on tour, chunks of time planning tours, and chunks of time designated for routine tasks at home (earning money, paying bills, keeping the home base afloat). It's a challenge. I'm not bored.

So as I write this, I'm finding myself trying to make sense of it all. It's as if someone gave me a free pass to another dimension. I grapple with this every time I come home from tour. I get to explore this other world with my team of cowboys. I can move in and out of it at will. When I come back to Seattle, everything is the same. Everything is the same except me. I took the red pill. My eyes are opened. Everything is the same except me. Everyone is the same except my traveling cowboy buddies and me. I need to keep it together so people don't find me out. I need to keep a low profile or they will know I'm different. It's not worth the energy to try to explain. Just nod your head and listen to them talk about their lives. Smile and act like you understand. They will never know the difference. Be very quiet. Wait... I think someone is on to me. I've got to go.


B

ps - Kill all germs.
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